Back to sewing: Caps and other stuff

When I was first called to Plain Quaker dress it was through the cap, or head covering.  As I put on the covering from my drawer for the first time, I experienced a Presence of God and heard the words “merciful Jesus” in my head. Putting it on felt like a sacred act and all in a flash I came to know that Christ was real, that Jesus the Christ was not just a man, but the Spirit that created the Universe. It was an indescribable experience, really, but one that was mystically connected for me with the act of putting on the cap. This is what the cap means to me and why I will never give up wearing it (unless, of course, directed by God to do otherwise).

God told me to go do the dishes?

Begonia blossom in my kitchen

Didn’t Christ tell us to go into all nations, to clothe the poor, to feed the hungry?  Surely God wants me to do some of that, or at least something equally dramatic and important! So why isn’t He telling me where, when and how to do that? As I sit here waiting for my commission, I feel like a race horse at the start gate, but the gun shot never comes. I am so anxious to be useful and to serve Him, why is He not realizing this and giving me my marching orders? What I am realizing gradually is that God has His own agenda for us and for all souls, and it may not be in His plan for me personally to play the part I yearn to play! We all have a desire to make a difference in the world in some way, hopefully in some significant way, while we are here, and it seems that in modern times we feel even more urgent about “fixing” things. So we are poised ready for the call, trying to be faithful. But, just because we have a desire to follow a certain call does not mean that is God’s plan for us in this lifetime! What a horrifying, and at the same time liberating, thought!

Do you feel God leading you?

In my last post I talked about some of the characteristics of leadings that I have discovered experimentally and most particularly about some of what seem to me to be the pitfalls in discerning a leading. I wonder how many people really think of leadings at all! I know that prior to a couple years ago I was aware of occasionally feeling that God was helping me out in various ways, usually in big things – like giving me the support and grace I needed to cope with tragedy or very hard times, or helping us to make the huge career change from my husband being a NASA physicist to being a dairy farmer. But in general I lived my life on my own, not thinking that in fact I could be led moment to moment if I opened my spiritual eyes to that possibility. I suspect that even most Christians are not aware of the continual help that is available, nor that God WANTS to lead us in this way. The peace that passes understanding is only available when we take His yoke upon us and learn from Him! How can we learn from Him if we are going our own way and not checking in constantly to see how we are doing and where we should be! It would be like having a GPS in your car, but turning it off and only occasionally turning it on to see if you are still on the right road. That is fine if you have a complete map, but unfortunately we as humans do not have particularly good maps of life. However, thankfully,  we do have access to the best GPS in the Universe!