Weeds in our Spiritual Gardens

I have been weeding our vegetable garden beds in preparation for planting. In the past I have become very impatient with this process and would use any means (heavy mulch, prayer..) to avoid the tedium of pulling or digging out every weed. But this year it hit me that I would not have such a heavy load of weeding in the next year if I would calm down, focus, and take the time to do a really good job this year!

I also had a spiritual opening related to weeding! Imagine that! God showed me that meticulous attention must be focused on my personal sins and shortcomings as well. How many of us go along feeling we are “good enough” – or “at least we are not as bad as others we know or have heard of.” Sure we get angry, and maybe yell, and are impatient, self-centered sometimes, maybe say things we regret, put ourselves above others sometimes and so on. But maybe this is good enough? Is there such a thing as “good enough?”

Back to sewing: Caps and other stuff

When I was first called to Plain Quaker dress it was through the cap, or head covering.  As I put on the covering from my drawer for the first time, I experienced a Presence of God and heard the words “merciful Jesus” in my head. Putting it on felt like a sacred act and all in a flash I came to know that Christ was real, that Jesus the Christ was not just a man, but the Spirit that created the Universe. It was an indescribable experience, really, but one that was mystically connected for me with the act of putting on the cap. This is what the cap means to me and why I will never give up wearing it (unless, of course, directed by God to do otherwise).

God told me to go do the dishes?

Begonia blossom in my kitchen

Didn’t Christ tell us to go into all nations, to clothe the poor, to feed the hungry?  Surely God wants me to do some of that, or at least something equally dramatic and important! So why isn’t He telling me where, when and how to do that? As I sit here waiting for my commission, I feel like a race horse at the start gate, but the gun shot never comes. I am so anxious to be useful and to serve Him, why is He not realizing this and giving me my marching orders? What I am realizing gradually is that God has His own agenda for us and for all souls, and it may not be in His plan for me personally to play the part I yearn to play! We all have a desire to make a difference in the world in some way, hopefully in some significant way, while we are here, and it seems that in modern times we feel even more urgent about “fixing” things. So we are poised ready for the call, trying to be faithful. But, just because we have a desire to follow a certain call does not mean that is God’s plan for us in this lifetime! What a horrifying, and at the same time liberating, thought!